In My View - Mother’s Day is upon us

Another year has passed and this Sunday is Mother’s Day. Last week the Deeside Piper carried a fascinating piece about the history of the day.

The day itself originated in America and was first celebrated in 1980, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia.

Her campaign to make Mother’s Day a recognised holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died.

To those unaware of my situation, because I have written about this previously, I was brought up by my grandparents, after my mother died when I was five years old.

I find this time of year tough because it forces me to confront feelings that for the majority of the year I ignore.

It has been over twenty years since my mum left my sisters and I and largely I find myself getting on with things because confronting feelings of hurt, anger and sadness can be overbearing.

Mother’s Day is everywhere. It is hard to escape so confronting these feelings is my only option. This past week, I received a number of e-mails to my personal e-mail account about ‘treating mum’ or ‘don’t forget to get mum something’. These e-mails, while harmless, can add to the hurt for those who have lost a loved one.

I love my grandparents, they have done an amazing job in raising my sisters and I. I will be visiting them this coming weekend and I’ve already picked out a wee present for my Nana.

Last year, for the Mearns Leader, I wrote a personal piece, which I thank Mike Rankin for allowing to be published at the time. I found myself reading that piece again this week and would like to share a bit from it.

““You missed so many important moments in my life and I can’t believe it’s been 20 years.

“So many things that others have taken for granted over the years, I would have loved and given everything for.

“The chance to tell you a story I’ve been working on, how work was going and how some late night meetings can really be a pain in the arse.

“Never have I got a missed call from you on my phone and had to listen to a silly voicemail. Never have I had an embarrassing picture from when I was wee uploaded to Facebook.

“I didn’t get the chance to sit with you on the morning of exam results and open them.

“We never got the highs and lows of growing up and we never will. I got to spend so little time with you and it’s the thing I hate most in the world. I miss you mum and I love you.”

To anyone who might find themselves in a similar situation to myself, I do have one bit of advice.

Don’t pretend they never existed. Allow an atmosphere to grow and thrive where you can celebrate those you have lost.

It is okay to laugh, cry and shed a tear in both situations when remembering them.

I found it difficult growing up to bring the topic of my mum up because I was so young when she passed.

It has taken a long time to get to where I am comfortable for people to ask questions to me about her.

This weeks ramblings has no message, it was for me to help channel and confront my feelings at this time of year. Happy Mother’s Day, Mum.